Gay Porn Star Ex-Boyfriend Interview
In January 2009, I published an interview at My Bareback Blog between myself and a young man who we referred to as Sean. The interview provided a glimpse into the world of gay porn and relationships, from someone who knew the industry more intimately than most of us because he dated a gay porn star. While the identities of both individuals were kept anonymous to protect their privacy, the content of the interview is real and insightful. “Sean” refers to the young man I interviewed and “Alex” refers to his porn star boyfriend.
The reason I originally set up this interview, was due to the fact that I was receiving messages from guys asking me about porn stars and I didn’t have intimate knowledge about the industry from someone involved in the industry. When I was provided with the wonderful opportunity to interview Sean, I was excited to be able to uncover some of the insights Sean had about Alex working in the industry and the impact this had on their relationship. We all might have certain expectations about what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone who has performed in the adult industry, so this interview might give you a better understanding from a different perspective.
Before we get started, it’s important to mention that the angle of this interview is based on the relationship between Sean and Alex, where one member of the couple worked in the porn industry and the other didn’t. The interview did not focus exclusively on the porn industry, but you might find a future interview here between myself and a porn star or someone involved in the industry to give you a better understanding.
An interview between Sean and Brad Berrigan.
Brad: Do you feel that being in a relationship with a porn model is more exciting than being in a relationship with any other guy?
Sean: I guess it’s different for each person. If you are all about showing off your boyfriend, then maybe it’ll be the case. But then again, would you actually be that proud to tell everyone that your boyfriend is in the porn industry?
Brad: Do you believe that dating a guy who has done porn is any different to dating a guy who hasn’t done porn?
Sean: I believe there are indeed a few differences. First, their schedules are anything but normal. They often need to be away from home for a few days, even a week for shootings. Also, my personal experience has shown that they tend to feel insecure about themselves, the way they look (how ironic!).
Brad: Did you experience any issues which you found difficult to deal with while dating a porn star, such as being jealous of other guys seeing him naked and in sexual situations with other guys?
Sean: It’s not an easy thing to know that your date, partner or boyfriend has sex with other guys, even if it’s his job. And I would like to meet a guy who can HONESTLY say that he feels entirely comfortable with that situation. As far as pure jealousy, I haven’t experienced it as such. Of course guys will see him naked, having sex… But at the end of the day, he’ll still be sleeping in your bed. In addition, if our relationship had become something very serious, Alex promised me that he would’ve quit the adult industry.
Brad: Did you find that dating a guy who has done porn added any complications to your relationship?
Sean: As I’ve mentioned previously, the fact that they are often insecure about themselves can become a hassle. They also need to be extra careful as to the way they look, and they tend to be a bit maniac about it. Alex was a bit on the “high maintenance” side, and it sometimes made me impatient.
Brad: Did you feel that either of you had to meet certain expectations when it came to having sex?
Sean: Absolutely not. I think it’s not true that porn stars are the best lovers because “they do it all the time”. As Alex once told me, it’s not especially pleasant to perform sexual acts with 8-10 people around you, telling you what to do, how to moan, under the heat of spot lights, etc. It’s absolutely mechanical and in case you’re wondering, the answer is: yes, they do have issues keeping their hard-ons at times. I didn’t feel I had to meet any expectations on my side either. When two people are together and share something, I think it’s just wrong to have expectations about how sex should be. It’s a whole new story every time, and it’s more about the connection between the two than sex itself.
Brad: Are there any tips you would give other guys who might want to date a porn star to help their relationship be the best that it can be?
Sean: I think you need to be crystal-clear about your own expectations and, most importantly, be honest with yourself. If you say that you feel comfortable with your boyfriend doing porn, you need to be sure of this and not just “pretend”, else your relationship is headed straight for disaster. Also, know that porn stars sometimes need to spend days without having sex before doing a scene, although they sometimes “forget” to respect that rule. All relationships require honesty, but I think it’s especially true if you are dating a porn star.
Brad: Would you be willing to date a guy in the future if he is currently or has previously been involved in the adult industry?
Sean: I’m certainly not searching for guys who are in that industry, but I can’t say that I wouldn’t date one. I don’t tend to define someone by what he does, but rather by who he really is. With that being said, I wouldn’t date someone who shoots bareback scenes. As much as I love watching bareback porn and love barebacking with someone I trust, I’d consider it too risky.
Brad: What is your opinion of the gay porn industry, and did your dating a porn star have any effect on your opinion?
Sean: Of course, Alex let me in on a few “secrets” from that industry (the lack of arousal, lack of chemistry between actors, actors who refuse to share their STD/HIV test results with other actors before doing a scene, all the drama surrounding this industry, shitty work conditions/environment, etc.), but it hasn’t really changed my perspective. I just now know more than ever that it can sometimes truly be “gay for pay” and that editing can make a scene that went terribly wrong look fantastic in the end…
I would like to sincerely thank Sean for sharing his porn star dating experiences with us here. If you have dated a porn star or if you are currently dating a porn star, please share your thoughts and experiences by posting a comment on this interview. If you would like to set up an interview with Brad, then click here to make a request. If you are a porn star, particular in the bareback porn industry, I would also like to hear from you with a view to arranging an interview.
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I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO KNOW A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PORN STAR… HOW DO THEY KEEP THERE COCKS SO HARD, DO THEY REALLY TAKE MANY TAKES, ARE FLUFFERS REALLY NECESSARY….
Thanks for your comment Michael. I will be arranging future interviews with bareback porn stars and will be asking the questions you have mentioned so we can all receive some insight into the world of porn. You are welcome to suggest any other questions you would like me to ask, in addition to any bareback porn stars you would like me to try to set up an interview with. ~ Brad (Webmaster).